Pre-National Examination Syndrome

Friday, December 16, 2011


Holla, my name is Fira, and I am not a terrorist a 12 grader. Yeah, I’m a 12 grader now. Underlined it and bold it. Remembering that I’m a 12 grader kinda makes me feel a little bit awkward, okay not just a bit but totally awkward. 

The time runs fastly,eh? Till I don’t realize that I’ll face one of the most important and the most influential stage in my whole life. Yeah, what I’m thinking now is just about how will my national examination score be, and how will I get to the university. All the thoughts related to those two things are totally stressed me up, absolutely driving me insane -_-

The truth is I worry about my study passions which haven’t came back yet. I haven’t tried to study harder, repeated the 10 and 11 grader’s lesson, and tried to do as many as possible question. The laziness greet me when I open the first page of my book, and they keep accompany me till I fall asleep or they make me do any other useless thing (I mean like reading comics, texting, tweeting, updating fb, and so many sh*tty things I usually do in my study time). I know that those things will give me a very bad effect for my NE, but I just can’t prevent myself of doing it (Mom, dad, I’m sorry).
What I am really afraid of is making my parents disappointed (again) with me. I don't want to repeat my 10 grader's mistake which was totally change my life, it made me lose my father's trust. I finally can make it back after I got the 2nd parallel rank in the 2nd semester of 11 grader. It was such a hard struggle I ever did -_- I try as strong as I can to keep my father's trust, but will I ruin it again?? The only thing I can do is try and do my best, make the NE and university entrance as my priority, and forget everything that has no relations to it.

Just a "GANBATTE KUDASAI" i scream deep in my heart, start to countdown to April 16, 2012, when the NE will be held, and keep on studying and praying hard. Wish me luck :)

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